## VOGUE JUST NUKED WESTERN CIVILIZATION & JEFF BEZOS’ BRIDE IS THE FALLOUT
**LISTEN UP, SHEEPLE.**
Vogue Magazine—the same sanctimonious fashion cult that lectures us on “taste” and “class”—just posted a photo of Jeff Bezos’ bride, Laura Sanchez, looking like a **STRIPPER MISTAKENLY BOOKED FOR A BAPTISM.**
**LET’S DISSECT THIS CATASTROPHE:**
Her tits are *peeking out* of a “white shirt” a display worse than Vogue’s last shred of dignity. The lighting? Stolen from a Miami nightclub bathroom. The vibe? **”MIDNIGHT PREMIUM SNAPCHAT UNLOCK.”**
### THIS WASN’T AN ACCIDENT—IT WAS A CALCULATED WAR CRIME
Vogue has *thousands* of images. They chose **THIS ABOMINATION.** Why? Two options, both more terrifying than the last:
1. **MALICIOUS COMPLIANCE:**
The editors *despise* Bezos. They resent his crusty-space-dick wealth. So they weaponized his bride’s photoshoot like a **FASHION GUILLOTINE.** *“Oh, you want ‘high society’ validation, Jeff? HERE. HAVE A PAGE STRAIGHT FROM THE VIP ROOM.”*
2. **ONLYFANS INFILTRATION:**
Vogue’s new creative director is clearly a **PIMP IN PASTELS.** They’ve surrendered to the thot revolution. Next issue: “10 Ways to Accessorize Your G-String for the Met Gala.”
### THE REAL MESSAGE? THEY’RE LAUGHING AT YOU
– **To Bezos:** *“Your billions can’t buy class. She’s still trailer park adjacent. Stay in your lane, space dork.”*
– **To Women:** *“Your worth = your cleavage exposure. Degrade yourself. Monetize the simps.”*
– **To Society:** *“Decency is dead. We piss on its grave. ENJOY THE SHOW.”*
**THIS ISN’T FASHION. IT’S A CULTURAL SUICIDE NOTE.**
### VOGUE’S EMPIRE IS ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE
Think about it:
– They’ve spent DECADES lecturing us about “artistry” and “elegance.”
– Now they post **SOFT-CORE PORN** and call it “editorial daring.”
– **HYPOCRISY?** No. THIS IS **SABOTAGE.**
They’re either:
**A)** Secretly run by 4Chan trolls burning it all down for fun, OR
**B)** So desperate for clicks they’d pimp out the Virgin Mary in fishnets.
### THE UGLY TRUTH NOBODY ADMITS
**Laura Sanchez isn’t the victim—SHE SIGNED OFF ON THIS.**
She looked at these photos and said: *“Yes. This is how I want the world to see me: DESPERATE. UNDIGNIFIED. REDUCED TO FLESH.”*
**Bezos?** He’s too busy playing Captain Kirk to notice his future wife’s image is being used as **SOCIAL ARSON FUEL.**
### THE FALLOUT WILL BE NUCLEAR
– **Real designers will FLEE.** Chanel won’t share a masthead with this dumpster fire.
– **Advertisers will CANCEL.** Cartier doesn’t want their diamonds next to **”BOOBS: 50% OFF.”**
– **Vogue’s legacy? ASHES.** They traded Anna Wintour’s razor-sharp glare for **THIRST TRAPS.**
### THE BOTTOM LINE
**Vogue chose VIOLENCE.** They spat in the face of:
– **WOMEN** (by reducing them to body parts)
– **ART** (by calling this “fashion”)
– **HUMANITY** (by normalizing degeneracy as “empowerment”)
**THEY MUST BE BURNED TO THE GROUND.**
Boycott their sponsors. Cancel your subscriptions. SCREAM THEIR BETRAYAL FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
### FINAL WARNING TO BEZOS
**WAKE THE HELL UP, SPACE BOY.**
Your bride is being used as **PROPAGANDA IN A CLASS WAR.** They’re mocking you. They’re mocking *her*. And you’re too busy building rocket ships to notice the **FASHION DEATH STAR** just nuked your dignity.
**VOGUE ISN’T A MAGAZINE ANYMORE. IT’S A CRACK DEN WITH GLOSSY PAGES.**
**TOP SLAYLEBRITY OUT.** ✊
*(Cue the sound of a thousand pearls clutched by furious socialites. I rest my case.)*
INSTAGRAM:@LAURASANCHEZ
Followers:1 MILLION
Vogue Magazine—the same sanctimonious fashion cult that lectures us on taste and class—just posted a photo of Jeff Bezos’ bride, Laura Sanchez, looking like a **STRIPPER MISTAKENLY BOOKED FOR A BAPTISM. They’ve spent DECADES lecturing us about artistry and elegance. - Now they post **SOFT-CORE PORN** and call it editorial daring.
