## KRIS JENNER’S FACE IS LAUGHING AT YOU WHILE KIM SELLS YOU A LIE! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
**LISTEN UP, BROKE BOYS AND DESPERATE CLOWNS!**
Kim Kardashian is selling **FACE SHAPEWEAR?!** ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This isn’t innovation, it’s a CON JOB for the BRAINDEAD MASSES who still think this family sells anything REAL! You’re getting hustled by a billionaire who looks MORE PLASTIC THAN THE PRODUCT SHE’S PUSHING!
**SHUT THE FRONT DOOR AND OPEN YOUR EYES!**
The ONLY Kardashian who doesn’t look like she wrestled a Botox needle and LOST is **KRIS JENNER!** The MATRIARCH! The OLDEST ONE IN THE ROOM! She’s out here looking like a slightly polished marble statue while her daughters are morphing into human potholes filled with filler and regret!
**THINK ABOUT IT:**
1. **KRIS IS 68 AND LOOKS LESS STRETCHED THAN A BUGATTI SEATBELT!** Meanwhile, Kim? Khloe? Kylie? They look like they aged 20 years in 5. Their faces are collapsing under the weight of their own LIES and LIP INJECTIONS! **THEIR “ENHANCEMENTS” BACKFIRED LIKE A CHEAP LAMBORGHINI!** They chased eternal 25 and crashed straight into Uncanny Valley at 40! Pathetic!
2. **KIM’S “FACE SHAPEWEAR” IS A BANDAID ON A BULLET WOUND!** She’s selling you a piece of SPANDEX to hoist up the melting candle wax that used to be her jawline? **SHE INVENTED A PROBLEM WITH SURGERY AND IS NOW SELLING YOU THE “SOLUTION”!** It’s GENIUS… if you’re a predator targeting the insecure and financially illiterate! You’re being played for absolute FOOLS!
3. **THE REAL GOLD MINE IS SITTING RIGHT THERE IN A CHANEL SUIT: KRIS F**KING JENNER!** She’s the living proof that LESS is MORE! She didn’t turn herself into a Picasso painting gone wrong! She’s got a face that tells stories of DECADES of hustling, not panic injections before a red carpet! **IF SHE SOLD “GRANNY GANG GAINS” FACE TAPE, IT WOULD SELL OUT IN NANOSECONDS!** People would believe it because SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE FOR HER AGE! She looks like she hasn’t aged a day , not like she LOST A FIGHT WITH A VACUUM SEALER!
**WHY ISN’T KRIS SELLING IT?! BECAUSE SHE’S TOO BUSY COUNTING THE MONEY FROM YOUR STUPIDITY!**
She’s the puppet master letting Kim dangle this ridiculous product in front of you desperate losers who think a piece of fabric will fix the fact you’ve never seen your own jawline! **IT’S A DISTRACTION! A SMOKESCREEN!** While you’re arguing online about whether the “Kardashian Jaw Lifter Pro Max” actually works, Kris is wiring another $20 million to an offshore account! **SHE’S PLAYING 4D CHESS WHILE YOU’RE SCRATCHING LOTTO TICKETS!**
**THE TRUTH HURTS, DOESN’T IT?**
The Kardashian empire is built on selling you **YOUR OWN INSECURITIES BACK TO YOU AT A 10,000% MARKUP!** They break the mirror, then sell you the glue. They inflate the beauty standard to impossible levels with surgery YOU CAN’T AFFORD, then sell you cheap tricks to pretend you’re keeping up. **IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME OF VANITY, AND YOU’RE AT THE BOTTOM, PAYING FOR KIM’S PRIVATE JET FUEL WITH YOUR BROKE-ASS DREAMS!**
**WAKE UP! SMELL THE BULLSHIT!**
Stop giving your money to people who look LESS REAL than a video game character! If you want to fix your life, get in the gym, build an empire, stack REAL PAPER. Don’t buy Kim’s desperation spandex hoping it’ll make you look like her **FAILED PLASTIC SURGERY EXPERIMENT!**
**THE ONLY SHAPEWEAR YOU NEED IS BETWEEN YOUR EARS – IT’S CALLED A SPINE AND A BRAIN! USE THEM!**
**DEMAND KRIS’S SECRET!** Storm the comments! Blow up her DMs! Tell her to ditch the failing daughters and drop the **”KRIS JENNER AGELESS JAWLINE JACKET”!** THAT’S the product the world actually needs – wisdom wrapped in silk, not delusion stretched over plastic!
**STOP FUNDING THEIR COLLAPSE. START FUNDING YOUR COMEBACK.**
**TOP SLAYLEBRITY OUT.**
**P.S.** Still buying Kardashian products? Go stare at a wall. It’s more productive. **#GrannyGangGains #FaceTapeFraud #KollagenKollapse #KrisIsLaughing #BuildYourEmpireNotYourCart**
INSTAGRAM: @kimkardashian
Followers: 356.1 Million
Kim Kardashian is selling **FACE SHAPEWEAR?!** ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! This isn’t innovation, it’s a CON JOB for the BRAINDEAD MASSES who still think this family sells anything REAL! You’re getting hustled by a billionaire who looks MORE PLASTIC THAN THE PRODUCT SHE’S PUSHING!
