**’MEGHAN MARKLE’S DEAD DOG GRIFT: How the Duchess of Disgrace Turns Puppy Tears into Paychecks (Pathetic)’**

Listen up, peasants. While you’re out here grinding to survive inflation, there’s a *professional victim* cashing in on a DOG’S GRAVE. That’s right—Meghan Markle, the queen of cringe and desperation, is back at it. This time? She’s weaponizing a dead pet to shill her latest grift. And if you’re dumb enough to fall for it, you deserve to lose your wallet. Let’s dissect this circus.

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### **STEP 1: THE PLAYBOOK OF A PROFESSIONAL LEECH**

Meghan didn’t “lose” a dog. She found a *marketing opportunity*.
– **Dead dog?** Check.
– **Sympathy bait?** Check.
– **New “business” to promote?** BINGO.

This isn’t grief. This is *calculated exploitation*. Normal people bury pets. Grifters like Meghan dig them back up, slap a price tag on their memory, and sell “healing crystals” to weak-minded followers. Pathetic.

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### **STEP 2: THE EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL MANUAL (Page 1: “Play the Victim”)**

She’s not just *using* the dog—she’s milking it like a cash cow. How?
– **“Vulnerable” posts**: Tear-stained selfies (filtered, of course) with captions like, “Losing my fur baby taught me…” (Taught you WHAT? To monetize mortality?)
– **Merch disguised as “tributes”**: Overpriced dog collars, “memorial” mugs, or *donations* to her “charity” (which funds her private jet fuel).
– **Phony “healing journeys”**: Webinars, e-books, or “exclusive content” where she cries on camera for 45 minutes before pitching her coupon code.

**Wake up, morons.** This isn’t about the dog. It’s about *your credit card*.

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### **STEP 3: THE GRIFT SPIRAL (How She Escapes Accountability)**

When normies question her? She’ll:
1. Cry “bullying!” (Because *you’re* the villain for noticing her scams).
2. Gaslight: “I’m just *healing* publicly!” (Translation: *Pay me to watch me heal*).
3. Play the race card (Classic Meghan—when in doubt, scream “oppression!”).

Meanwhile, the dog’s been dead for weeks . But hey, why let facts ruin a good sob story?

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### **STEP 4: WHY YOU’RE PART OF THE PROBLEM**

You’re fueling this. Every “aww, poor Meghan” comment, every share, every dollar spent on her garbage *traps* her in this cycle of narcissistic grifting. She’s not a victim—**she’s a predator**. And you’re the prey.

**Real talk**: If this dog meant anything to her, she wouldn’t be pissing on its legacy to sell As ever products .

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### **THE BOTTOM LINE**

Meghan Markle is a *brand*, not a person. And brands don’t have souls. They have profit margins. While you’re wiping tears over her dead dog posts, she’s wiping her a** with your empathy.

Stop falling for the theatrics. Stop funding the fraud. And for God’s sake—**stop letting emotional vampires turn tragedy into Instagram ads**.

Meghan’s not special. She’s not a victim. She’s not a trailblazer. She’s just another grifter in a sea of them, and the sooner people stop rewarding her for this garbage, the better off we’ll all be. So, what’s it gonna be? You gonna keep swallowing this crap, or are you gonna wise up and call it what it is? Your choice—but if you ask me, it’s time to let Meghan fade into the obscurity she deserves. The world’s got enough clowns. We don’t need her too.

**-Chief Unmasker of Slaylebrities **
*(Drop the tissues. Pick up a backbone.)*

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**PS:** Next time she posts a dead dog tribute, reply with this: “How much for the urn?”

Instagram:@Meghan
Followers: 1.9 Million

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