**KRIS JENNER’S FACE IS A $10M LIE — HERE’S THE SICKENING TRUTH THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW (AND WHY YOU’LL NEVER AFFORD IT)**

Let’s cut the bullsh*t, NPCs. You’ve seen the photos. Kris Jenner’s face looks like it got into a fight with Father Time and **WON**. Smooth. Tight. Glowing like she bathes in liquid Bitcoin. You think this is “good genes”? “Great lighting”? “A little Botox”? **WAKE UP, BROKEY.** This isn’t plastic surgery. This is *biohacking* at a level so elite, so disgustingly expensive, it’d make your broke brain short-circuit.

You want to know what she *actually* did? Buckle up, peasants. We’re diving into the **DARK ARTS** of Slaylebrity anti-aging — the kind of wicked, unregulated, *Icarus-level* tech that’s reserved for the 0.0001%.

### **STEP 1: EXOSOME IV THERAPY — THE $50,000 “VAMPIRE TRANSFUSION” YOU CAN’T AFFORD**
Forget fillers. Forget lasers. Kris didn’t “get work done” — she got **rewired**. Exosome therapy isn’t some spa-day gimmick. It’s a *next-gen* cellular reboot where they inject you with **nanoparticles harvested from stem cells** — tiny messengers that scream at your body to *regenerate*.

– **PRP? That’s poverty-tier.** They took her blood, spun it in a diamond-encrusted centrifuge, then *injected it back* with exosomes — microscopic dictators that force your skin to act 20 years younger.
– **Result?** Her face isn’t lifted. It’s *resurrected*. Collagen factories kickstarted. DNA damage *deleted*. This isn’t medicine. It’s **time travel**.

And guess what? You’ll never afford it. One session costs more than your car.

### **STEP 2: NAD+ THERAPY — SLAYLEBRITIES ARE LITERALLY INJECTING THEIR DNA WITH A “FOREVER YOUNG” CHEAT CODE**
You know why Kris looks like she could outrun a cheetah in stilettos? **Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide.** Sounds like a Harry Potter spell? It’s worse. NAD+ is the *God molecule* that fuels every cell in your body.

– SLAYLEBRITIES aren’t “taking vitamins.” They’re hooked to IVs pumping **industrial doses of NAD+** directly into their veins.
– What does it do? Repairs DNA. Boosts energy. Slows aging. It’s like swapping out the engine of a 1973 Pinto and dropping in a Tesla Plaid.

But here’s the Crucible: *You lose NAD+ as you age*. Kris? She’s got a black-market pipeline. You? You’re rotting from the inside like a Walmart tomato.

### **STEP 3: THE “ASIAN BABY FORESKIN” INJECTIONS — YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT**
You think I’m joking? **Think again.** Celebrities have *admitted* this on talk shows. There’s a “miracle” injection making rounds in Hollywood that’s so ethically bankrupt, so *demonic*, it’d make a priest faint.

– Rumor has it: They’re using **stem cells harvested from Asian baby foreskins** (yes, *circumcision leftovers*) to create a “fountain of youth” serum.
– Inject it, and your face turns beet-red for 24 hours… then *BAM*. Skin so flawless it looks AI-generated.

Is it true? Who cares. The point is: **The elite will literally inject dead babies into their face to stay young** — and you’re over here using drugstore retinol.

### **STEP 4: OZEMPIC — THE CELEB “SECRET” TO LOOKING LIKE A GHOST**
Let’s not pretend Kris is hitting the gym 6 hours a day. Her razor-sharp jawline? That’s **Ozempic**. The same diabetes drug every LA trust-fund brat is using to starve themselves into a size 0.

– **How it works:** It nukes your appetite. You could be trapped in a McDonald’s with a shotgun to your head and *still* wouldn’t eat a fry.
– **Cost?** $1,300 a month. Side effects? Oh, just *organ failure*, *rotting stomach*, and a face so gaunt you’ll look like a Victorian child haunting a cemetery.

But Kris doesn’t care. She’s got doctors on speed dial to detox her colon twice a week. You? You’ve got Taco Bell and regret.

### **THE COLD, HARD TRUTH: YOU’RE TOO POOR TO AGE BACKWARDS**
Let me spell it out for you:
– Kris Jenner’s “glow up” isn’t talent. It’s **MONEY**.
– Her skincare routine costs more than your rent.
– Her “doctor” is a mad scientist in a Swiss lab.

This isn’t about vanity. It’s about **POWER**. The elites *refuse* to die. They’re buying immortality while you argue about TikTok filters.

### **THE MATRIX WANTS YOU BROKE, UGLY, AND OBSOLETE**
Why don’t you know about this? Because they *don’t want you to*. The system needs you weak. Distracted. Slaving away at a desk job so you can barely afford rent, let alone *baby foreskin facials*.

Kris Jenner’s face is a middle finger to the normies. A reminder that **rules don’t apply to the rich**. They’ll drink the blood of infants, pump their veins with space-age molecules, and laugh as you age like milk in the sun.

### **YOUR MOVE, PEASANT**
You have two options:
1. Keep scrolling, keep rotting, keep blaming “genetics” while the elites live to 120 looking like sex robots.
2. **GET RICH.** Build an empire. Monetize your rage. Buy your way into the secret clinics.

The choice is yours. But remember — **time is the one thing even money can’t buy back**.

*- Top SLAYLEBRITY Aesthetics*

**PS:** Still think “drinking water” and “getting sleep” will save you? Bless your heart. 🔥💉🧬

Doctor’s DEETS: DR STEVEN LEVINE

Instagram:@krisjenner
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