**🔥 TINA KNOWLES IS A HOT MESS EXPRESS TO EMBARRASSMENT – TIME TO RETIRE THE KNIFE, GRANDMA 🔥**

Listen up, world. Let’s cut the fake sympathy and call this what it is: **Tina Knowles is morphing into a walking midlife crisis on steroids**, and it’s time someone dragged her to the mirror. You want to talk about a *downgrade*? This woman’s glow-down is so catastrophic, it’s like watching a luxury yacht sink into a swamp of desperation.

**💀 FASHION? MORE LIKE TRAGIC-ION 💀**

Tina’s out here dressed like she raided a clearance rack at a Halloween store for “discount harlot” costumes. **Cheap lace? Tacky sequins?** Honey, even *clowns* have higher standards. She’s 70 years old and prancing around in outfits that scream, “I’ll do *anything* to stay relevant!” But newsflash: **desperation isn’t a vibe**. It’s a cry for help.

Meanwhile, Kris Jenner’s over there looking like a billionaire Bond villainess in tailored blazers and diamond-studded silence. **Kris aged like fine wine. Tina? Aged like milk left in the sun.**

**💉 OZEMPIC BODY? MORE LIKE OZEMPIC DESPERATION 💉**

Let’s address the elephant in the room: Tina’s sudden “transformation.” We all see it. The hollow cheeks. The snatched waist. The *Ozempic shuffle*—losing weight but gaining zero class. Congrats, Tina! You’ve unlocked the “Hunger Games” body. **But starving yourself into a leather handbag isn’t a flex.** It’s sad.

And don’t even get me started on the **plastic surgery disasters**. Every time she steps out, her face looks like it lost a fight with a vacuum cleaner. **Cheekbones sharper than her career moves. Lips inflated enough to float the Titanic.** She’s one Botox shot away from becoming Michael Jackson’s long-lost twin. **STOP THE MADNESS.**

**👑 KRIS JENNER’S DOCTOR IS LAUGHING AT YOU 👑**

Kris Jenner didn’t just age gracefully—she hacked the system. Her surgeon? A god with a scalpel. Her stylist? A genius who knows **elegance beats attention-seeking every time**. Meanwhile, Tina’s team must be a bunch of raccoons armed with glitter glue and a *Groupon* for fillers.

**Tina, sweetie, here’s a free tip:** Sell those tragic sequined rags, fire your “yes men,” and BEG Kris’s squad for mercy. Because right now, you’re not serving “icon.” You’re serving “desperate clown car.”

**🚨 TINA’S ULTIMATUM: RETIRE THE KNIFE OR RETIRE YOURSELF 🚨**

Let’s keep it 100. You’re 70. You’ve got money. You’ve got grandkids. **ACT LIKE IT.**

1️⃣ **DITCH THE DESPERATION OUTFITS.** Class isn’t about showing skin—it’s about leaving *something* to the imagination. Invest in a tailor, not a strip club wardrobe.
2️⃣ **FIRE YOUR SURGEON.** That man’s committing crimes against humanity with every syringe. Kris’s doc turned her into a marble statue. Yours turned you into a meme.
3️⃣ **EAT A DAMN MEAL.** Ozempic might shrink your waist, but it’s expanding the cringe. Strength > starvation. Always.

**🔥 BOTTOM LINE: TINA, YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS (OR YOU SHOULD BE) 🔥**

This isn’t hate. It’s a *wake-up call*. You’re a matriarch. A legend. **Start acting like one.** The world doesn’t need another botched surgery headline or cringe paparazzi strut. We need you to *lead*. To inspire. To remind women that aging isn’t about chasing youth—it’s about owning your power.

Or keep clowning. Keep starving. Keep letting that surgeon turn you into a human Picasso painting. **Your choice.**

But remember: Every time you step out looking like a *Mad Max* extra, Beyoncé’s legacy winces. **Do better.**

**PS:** Kris Jenner’s phone number is probably on speed dial. **CALL HER.** Beg for help. And for God’s sake, *burn the sequins*. 🔥👎

Instagram: @TINAKNOWLES
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