**Meghan Markle: The Overripe Tomato of the Royal Basket**
—
Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round. Today, we’re diving deep into the enigmatic, puzzling, and borderline comical world of Meghan Markle, the self-proclaimed duchess of everything that’s glamorous and luxurious. Now, I’m not here to throw shade, but let’s get real for a moment. Meghan Markle is that overripe, bursting red tomato in the royal salad—and here’s why.
Picture this: a children’s hospital event. A noble cause, an institution deserving of grace, elegance, and a pinch of genuine humanity. Who steps out of her palace gates to bestow her presence upon such an event? Madame Markle, of course, strutting her stuff in a red, plunging neckline dress that screams desperation louder than a paparazzo’s camera. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making a statement, but when you’re trying to convince the world of your “royal authenticity,” maybe leave the red-carpet vibes for Hollywood, not hospitals.
Why, you ask? Because a bona fide royal doesn’t need to scream for attention; she commands it with a mere whisper of sophistication. But our darling Meg, oh no, she’s here, there, and everywhere, doing backflips for the limelight like it’s a circus. The red dress is just one episode in the Netflix special that is her life.
Then there’s the whole Costco wholesale escapade. This isn’t just bargain shopping, this is Meghan Markle all over the place, collaborating left, right, and center. One day she’s royal, next day she’s slinging deals that scream “SALE!” louder than a Boxing Day clearance. I mean, seriously, who are you, Meghan? Are you a duchess or a discount diva? You can’t have your crumpet and eat it too.
Royalty is about poise, about maintaining an air of mystery, allure, dignity. Not about stamping your name on cut-rate trinkets like they’re going out of style. Our beloved overripe tomato, bless her heart, wants to blend the highbrow with bargain bin antics, crafting an image that even Picasso would struggle to envision.
And here’s the kicker: for someone who allegedly wants to bask in the regal spotlight, Madame Markle seems to miss the point entirely. Real royalty doesn’t need to shout their status from the rooftops, nor do they slip into whatever costume seems fitting for the public stage of the day. There’s an art to being royal—a style, a grace, an effortless class. It’s not about who notices you first in a crowd; it’s about your presence being felt even when you’re not trying to be the center of the universe.
So let’s sit back and ponder this: what self-respecting, truly classy royal would step out for a children’s hospital event in that desperate ensemble she chose? I’m still waiting for an answer because, my Unmasked Slaylebrity tribe, Meghan Markle may think she’s the full basket, but truth be told, she’s merely that overripe, bursting red tomato, more concerned with making a splash than holding her own.
Here’s hoping that one day, the tomato doesn’t splatter and cause a mess, but until then, let’s watch the show. It’s bound to be as predictable as it is entertaining. 🍅
https://youtu.be/vtnR0aGIMzE?si=XmESjpOC3ft0Tds5
social fans: @Americanrivieraorchard
Followers: 611,000