## **BEYONCÉ’S FLYING DEATH TRAP: WHEN SLAYLEBRITIES F**K AROUND & FIND OUT (JUST LIKE MJ’S HAIR!)**
**LISTEN UP, CLOWNS.**
You’re out here simping for “queen this” and “slay that” while these over-privileged *slaylebrities* are dangling 2-ton death machines over your skulls for **TIKTOK CONTENT.** Beyoncé’s flying car nearly CRUSHED HOUSTON? **GOOD.** Maybe now you’ll wake the f**k up. This ain’t “art” – **IT’S EGOTISTICAL ROULETTE WITH YOUR LIFE AS THE CHIP.**
### **REMEMBER MICHAEL’S HAIR? THAT WAS GOD WINKING.**
☠️ **1984:** MJ’s hair ignites filming a Pepsi ad. **POOF!** The beginning of the end. A cosmic warning: *”Stop turning humans into deities before they BURN.”*
☠️ **2024:** Beyoncé’s floating junkyard starts **TIPPING LIKE A DRUNK T-REX** over screaming fans. She’s singing *”Stop stop stop”* like it’s a damn lyric. **NO, BEE!** This ain’t “Break My Soul” – **IT’S BREAK MY SPINE!**
**YOU THINK THIS IS ACCIDENTAL?**
**WRONG.** This is **KARMA FOR IDOLATRY.** These “artists” keep pushing because YOU keep clapping. You want Cirque du Soleil meets Terminator? **FINE.** But when that metal monstrosity cracks your grandma’s pelvis, **DON’T CRY TO TIKTOK ABOUT IT.**
—
### **THEIR VANITY IS YOUR DEATH WARRANT**
Let’s break down this **STUPIDITY IN 4K:**
1. **THE “FLYING CAR”:** A 5,000lb metal coffin held by **RUSTY ROPES AND PRAYERS.** Engineers? Probably interns scrolling OnlyFans.
2. **THE TILT OF DOOM:** It wasn’t “malfunctioning.” **IT WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE.** Slow, groaning, like Godzilla rising – *and Beyoncé’s still belting high notes?!*
3. **THE CROWD:** Filming vertically like braindead sheep. **YOU’RE LITERALLY STARING AT YOUR OWN GRAVE** for Instagram stories.
4. **THE AFTERMATH:** “She was brought down safely.” **OH, THANK GOD!** Now book the next show! Add MORE DRONES! **MAYBE A LIVE TIGER NEXT TIME?!**
**THIS ISN’T ENTERTAINMENT. IT’S DARWINISM FOR PAYING CUSTOMERS.**
—
### **WHY TRAVIS SCOTT’S ASTROWORLD WAS JUST THE TRAILER**
You cried “Never again!” after Travis’ crowd crush. **LIARS.**
Now you’re cheering as Beyoncé floats a **HYBRID OF DELOREAN AND GUILLOTINE** over packed rows. *”But the theatrics are iconic!”* **STOP.** MJ gave you chills with a GLOWING glove and a spin. Now? You need **FIREWORKS, ROBOT HORSES, AND A CAR FROM BLADE RUNNER** to feel something? **YOU’RE THE PROBLEM.**
**THE LESSON?
SPECTACLE KILLS.
HUBRIS KILLS FASTER.**
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### **WHAT REAL POWER LOOKS LIKE (TAKE NOTES, BEY)**
Real icons don’t need **GYMNASTICS ON A LANDMINE:**
– **FRANK SINATRA:** One mic. One suit. Shook planets.
– **WHITNEY HOUSTON:** Stood still. Opened mouth. Shattered glass.
– **ADELE:** Sits on a stool. Makes you weep into your wine.
**THEY UNDERSTOOD:**
*If your “art” needs a NASA safety waiver, YOU’VE FAILED.*
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### **THE UNMASKED SLAYLEBRITY PRESCRIPTION: SAVE YOURSELF**
1. **BOYCOTT THE CLOWNS:** Stop funding their death cult concerts. **STREAM AT HOME.** (Or better – listen to BACH).
2. **DEMAND REFUNDS + THERAPY:** If you were there? Sue. **TRAUMA ISN’T A CONCERT PERK.**
3. **RESPECT REAL ART:** Talent ≠ dangling cars. **IF THEY NEED ROBOTS TO BE INTERESTING, THEY’RE BORING.**
**LAST WARNING:**
The next “malfunction” won’t tilt. **IT’LL PLUMMET.** And when headlines scream *”50 Dead in Beyoncé’s ‘Renaissance’ Sacrifice”*, **REMEMBER YOU CLAPPED.**
**MJ’S HAIR.
BEYONCÉ’S CAR.
WHAT’S NEXT?**
**DRAKE RIDING A LIVE GRENADE?**
**WAKE. UP.
OR GET CRUSHED BY THEIR VANITY.**
– **UNMASKED SLAYLEBRITY**
*(Sipping espresso in a bunker. Because stages are for idiots.)*
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**🔥 SHARE IF YOU’D RATHER HEAR A VOICE THAN A CAR CRASH.
🤡 SCROLL IF YOU WANT FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE NEXT FUNERAL.**
> *”Just sing ffs.” – LITERALLY EVERY SANE PERSON EVER*
INSTAGRAM:@Beyonce
Followers:311 Million
Beyoncé’s flying car nearly CRUSHED HOUSTON? **GOOD.** Maybe now you’ll wake the f**k up. This ain’t art– **IT’S EGOTISTICAL ROULETTE WITH YOUR LIFE AS THE CHIP.**
